Hey everyone! I feel I need to start this post by giving you all a huge virtual hug and thanks for all of your amazing support with our new project brownble and all the changes that are happening around here. I can’t wait to show you the new site in the fall and have the blog move on over to the new HQ! Today I have a post of a more personal nature, and incredibly, it doesn’t involve a lot of food. Well not directly anyway…
Get that soy chai tea latte ready because we’re going to talk about the subject of core beliefs, self-fulfilling prophecies and how these can take you back a step or ten! By the end of this post you’ll know about my little adventures with going outside my comfort zone and the things I used to say over and over again and that now won’t cross my lips! We’re getting personal today and the experiences I’m going to share have been so transformational for me that I hope they can inspire you too.
First let me say that when I’m talking about core beliefs I don’t mean your religious beliefs, or your belief in equality or justice or freedom. By core beliefs, I’m referring to those statements we believe to be true about ourselves and that guide our daily choices. They are core beliefs because we believe with all our hearts that they are the way we do things, the way we should do things and most dangerous of all, the only way we CAN do things. I’m not immune to these babies. For years I had my core beliefs so firm, in line and pretty that I felt some comfort in knowing they were there. Kind of like a tourist guide book that lets you stay within the lines without a problem and just follow along. For years, I was dead wrong about this little issue, and realizing this has changed my life completely, especially these last few months.
I bet by now you want some examples right? Ok how about these, let’s see if these ring a bell:
– I can’t go to bed earlier than I do now.
– I can’t wake up early, I’m just not a morning person.
– I can’t live without coffee (don’t worry I’m not taking your coffee away, just using it as an example).
– I can’t exercise, I’m just too busy.
– I can’t exercise, I’m just too lazy.
– I can’t plan my meals in advance because I don’t have time.
– I can’t eat the same dish twice in a week so there’s no use in cooking a double portion and having leftovers.
– I can’t lift weights, I’ll gain weight on the scale.
– I can’t run, tried it once, and it wasn’t for me, I couldn’t catch my breath.
– I don’t have time to take an evening stroll with my family.
– I don’t have time to get together with friends.
– Calling an old friend takes up too much of my time, that’s why we have texting.
– I don’t make enough money to eat healthily.
– Eating healthy foods takes too much time and I don’t have any.
– I’d love to be vegan but it would be too hard for me to follow through (yup! I had that one for years believe it or not!).
– I already work enough at work, so working out after, is just not a reality for me.
– I can’t go after the job I really want because I won’t get it.
– I can’t go back to school because I’m too old.
– I can’t find love because…
I could make this list go on and on if I include all aspects of life, but these are some that are true for many people on a day-to-day basis. Some of these were in my repertoire for years actually! You’ve heard me tell you about the new fitness program I’ve been trying out, in our last few posts, and it was precisely this and my amazing wise husband that completely changed things around for me. I was craving a new routine for my exercise practice and was so excited when I found it. Five minutes later as I was reading what it was about and tried out a couple of their routines I instantly thought, “you’ve got to be kidding me!???” “You want me to do what?!”. My head was about to explode in self-doubt, all because of my core beliefs. I can’t exercise as soon as I get up. I can’t wake up earlier than I already do in order to exercise. I can’t exercise every day. No rest day? No way! Something in me kept me going for a week and on the following Monday, they tell me that on top of what I’ve been doing (and I was doing 10 times what I normally do) I have a running challenge! That’s right, suddenly I had to wake up early, do vigorous strength training routines and go for a run, and do it all over again the next day and the next. Impossible… think again. I was not prepared for the massive changes that were in store for me.
Nothing was being as limiting to me in actually getting off my booty and doing it, as my core beliefs. My head was full of what I like to call self-fulfilling prophecies. They are as toxic as a bad relationship let me tell you! So one day I decided I was simply going to say yes. I would try it, without even thinking it was on a trial basis. I simply thought, I’m going to do this thing, one day at a time. This has been the most liberating feeling and I can easily tell you it is changing much more than my fitness regime or my body. Suddenly nothing seemed impossible. Jim Carrey would have been proud because I became a total yes girl! The expression “don’t knock it ’til you try it” is as wise as they come. We are capable of such greatness and we are always pulled down by these beliefs we have, that seem set in stone but are actually just thoughts. Thoughts are the easiest things to alter if you really want to make a change for yourself.
This has not been the only thing that has taught me this lesson recently. When brownble first came into our heads, a lot of core beliefs came to ruin the party. I had been wanting to do something like this for a really long time, it was definitely a dream I knew was going to happen some day, but I kept postponing it because… (insert core belief here). One day, in a coffee shop, my husband said ‘let’s do it’ to which I replied ‘yeah yeah… in a few years I think we can do it’, but he said ‘no, we’re going to start this right now’. The next few days I went along business as usual while equipment and boxes started arriving at our house. He started taking classes and making written plans for our project. Our house was turning into the new brownble HQ, a busy backstage area full of cameras, lighting equipment and ideas, and I was just being a spectator, still not believing it was possible. As it turns out, when he said we were doing this now he meant it! No self doubt, no questions, just do it and figure out the details later. Well, a few months ago, with all my core beliefs and self doubt yammering on and on in my ear, I decided to jump ship and join my wise husband. As it turns out, core beliefs quiet down only if you tell them to shut up. Once you do… oh boy! The adventure begins.
Are there any core beliefs that are weighing you down? Is there anything you keep postponing because of x y or z? Here’s a little homework for you. Say yes to the first step for one of these projects or promises to yourself. Don’t listen to that voice in your head that says no, listen to the one that’s in your gut that keeps reminding you, you need to do something. As with anything in life, the first step is always the hardest, but it’s also the one that changes everything.
I want to leave you with a little metaphor. This comes to you via one of my favorite business and motivational podcasts The Chalene Show, hosted by the notorious Chalene Johnson. In one of her recent episodes she gave this incredible metaphor for core beliefs, which I’ll never forget. She said that elephants who are caught and ‘trained’ (aka tortured) for circuses or entertainment are first beaten and chained with heavy chains so they won’t escape and run free. The more they break them, and leave those heavy chains on, the more they stay put following orders with their heads down. With time, their captors change those chains for smaller ones. Then smaller ones. Then for a rope. The elephant however has been completely changed, no more impulses to be free and happy and run. No more feeling that he actually is physically more powerful than his captors and could easily run to freedom. It stays. And it stays. Core beliefs have this same effect on us. We never try it, because we’re so sure it’s not going to work, when all we need to do is leap and break the rope.
Thanks for stopping by today everyone! Don’t forget to join our new email list by signing up below. We’ll notify you when a new sneak peek is live on our YouTube channel (we have more up since our last post!) and as the fall approaches we’ll be migrating over to the new site, and we don’t want you to miss a thing. We’ll also be sending a little gift to all our new email subscribers soon!